Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Jillian Ruby...

Jillian is my firstborn, my mini-me, my heart. She is a million different things and she's only two. She is bossy, constantly telling me not to do something, say something or telling me to play with her. She's a little bit mean too, sometimes I think she gets this sudden urge and hauls off and smacks me. She is a little lover, stopping for hugs and kisses, telling me she loves me and that I'm her best friend. Makes my heart melt. She is incredibly smart, can count to 15, says her ABC's and can sing a bunch of songs. Nick Jr has a lot to do with that! Who said TV was bad for kids? Her imagination is great - she's a little mommy to her babies and mimics the things I do and say to her baby sister. Sometimes I just watch her and wonder how I lived my life without her. She is beautiful, her blue eyes and dark hair are gonna break hearts someday, but that's the last thing I want to worry about right now. I'm going to enjoy her being little and cherish every memory.

Today while driving to my grandparents with my mom she said "Maama, I need some coffee". Maybe she's observant and knows that car rides equal coffee...or maybe I just go to Starbucks too often!

Every night we say our prayers, give kisses and she says "nigh night mommy, I wuv u" in a whispery little voice. No matter how bad a day is, she makes it better.

I love you my Jillibean <3

Sunday, May 29, 2011

How great is our God...

As I was sitting on the couch tonight feeding Delaney, I was in awe of my tiny little girl. This song popped into my head,"how great is our God, sing with me, how great is our God, and all will see how great, how great is our God", and I'm so thankful that song is 100% true. I was terrified that day at the doctor when they said that Delaney would have to be delivered early. I was terrified and then I prayed, and everyone around me prayed, and then I was calm. I was completely at peace with what was happening. Our God is great, He loves us and never leaves us. We may stray from Him, but He is always right there. Delaney is our miracle. God allowed everything to happen in His perfect timing to get us where we are today.

My faith has grown leaps and bounds since February 18th, 2011. Growing up in a strong Christian faith sometimes makes you take for granted God's greatness. Maybe He allowed Delaney's birth to happen the way it did to make me see where my faith was lacking? I'm thankful He did. I'm not looking back, I'm going forward with a renewed commitment to understanding God's direction for my life, and the life of my family.

It's very important to me that Jillian and Delaney understand God's love for them. I LOVE to hear Jilli sing "Jesus loves me" and how excited she gets about going to church. This is only the beginning. The journey that follows is unknown, but with faith that can move mountains I know it will be great!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

We'll see how long this lasts...

I'm definitely not a writer, blogger, etc...my English might not always be grammatically correct, but its life.

I don't have a very eventful, lots to talk about life, but I'm a mommy. Being a mommy is pretty eventful in itself I guess you could say. It's what I'm meant to be - a mom, wife, nurturer. I can remember playing mommy when I was a little kid. I would carry my huge baby doll, Elizabeth, with me everywhere. I'm pretty sure I even left her in a few stores while shopping...along with my purse (promise I won't do that with my real babies). I loved playing mommy as a little kid, but I love *being* a mommy even more. No one can really explain the way you feel when you first hold that, tiny, wrinkly bundle of joy in your arms for the first time. It's a feeling that you can only experience...it really is unexplainable. The ups and downs of parenthood is something that should be journaled. Time goes by SO fast and by the time you stop and take a breathe, it's been 2 years and you not only have a 2 year old, but you also have a 3 month old. I can honestly say that I have barely filled out Jillian's baby book. I want to remember more. I want to be able to look back and see what joys, struggles, milestones happened. Reading my best friends blog tonight made me realize I want to *try* and keep record of everylittlething that happens. I'm super sentimental. I love looking back at cards, videos, pictures. I love to relive a moment. I want my girls to be able to see just how happy I am to be their mommy.